Dear Diary (and anyone else who may stumble into this blog),
Okay so I decided I needed a diary. One that I can rant and rave to, but unfortunately the ones you pick up at Hallmark, with all their pink-bindings, lock-n-key, abstract-watercolor-on-the-cover cutesy-ness don't talk back. I need that interaction, mostly so I can maybe gain some perspective, but also because I need someone to say "You're so right!" once in a while. I don't handle the "Errrr--Wrong Answer!" buzzer very well in RL but I guess I better be ready for it here. A little kick in the tush now and then will be good for me. And since I can't see you, it's hard for me to be mad at you for trying to help. Anyway, since for now I don't plan on sharing this Diary Blog (Dia-blogger-y, get it??) with anyone other than maybe one or two trusted friends (who will only read it out of pity for me, I'm sure) I'm going to try to use it as my online therapy. Hey, it can't hurt and what's more cost effective than free, right?
So if you're feeling like me, or just want to read about someone who's a little bit pathetic, a sometimes whiny woman who takes serious things a little too lightly and little things too seriously, you're in the right place! Send your friends, this could be a pretty awesome whinefest (or maybe Wine Fest, if you wish)! Better yet, maybe you and I can learn a little from each other, who knows?
Okay, so a little about me... I'm a mid-30's housewife and mother to two young girls. I like my life, don't get me wrong, but I have my parent's blood and the need for anti-depressants runs deep in my marrow. We all have faced some type and level of depression, so I like to think I can't blame it all on myself. My husband is pretty great, even now after several years of marriage and kids and mortgages and money-shortages. We've been married 7 years, but I don't feel anything getting itchy, so I think we're all right. Mostly we fight about things that are such non-issues that I can't even really remember any real fights in all our time together. Mostly we're co-dependent enablers, so it's hardly any wonder we get along so great. But no matter, I love him and he loves me, so he's pretty much the only thing keeping me from going completely insane. We live in a nice house (nice by my modest, blue-collar neighborhood standards) and we struggle to pay the rent every month, but we're hanging in there by ignoring those pesky education loan collection agency people and by trying not to spend on non-necessities. As a general rule, I speak fluent sarcasm as my first language (probably can't tell from my tone here, right?) and while I'm a little too negative, there is a quasi-optimistic deep down in me somewhere. I know life's a journey and you learn as you go. (Isn't that a country song?) There isn't much I'd change if I had a "reset" button, because the choices I've made have gotten me here and here isn't so bad. So here I am, writing to a diary, whose purpose is to help me remember how blessed I am, and for me to learn something about myself. If nothing else, I can get my thoughts out so my brain isn't so cluttered, lol :)
So that's it for now. Happy freakin' day to ya. See ya around. ;-)
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